Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back! Long live the king and all that… it’s Felix Hernandez! Felix is poised to destroy righty Luke Hochevar and the rest of the Royals starting in just a couple of minutes (5:10 PM PT). It’s like in elementary school where the tough kid picks on you, so go and and pick on the kid who’s mom gave him a kiwi everyday is his lunch instead of an apple. Was that just me? Tyler, if you’re reading this, I really respected you for your appreciation of exotic fruits. You were a great friend, and I think a little shit talking between buddies should not only be accepted, but encouraged.

Good thing we got rid of Richie because Cairo is playing first, and he’s hitting a meaty .212… and he can bunt! Vidro is mysteriously batting fourth AGAIN. I know that we’ve all be scratching our heads over this one… I would love if somebody could please leave a message as to why this might be a good idea. Any reason at all, even a slightly believable one.